Two days before Christmas, I looked outside my window at work--white lights and flashing snowflakes lined King Street. I observed the last minute Christmas shoppers strolling up and down. There were haggard looking couples, their arms weighed down with multi-colored bags. And then there were the weary parents trying to prevent their kids from running ahead into the road before the traffic lights told them it was safe to do so. I stared at this scene for a few minutes and then closed my window shade.
Christmas was the most important holiday for Cindy and the one that drove me the most crazy.
Cindy did all her Christmas shopping the 2 days before Christmas. This tradition required enourmous amounts of stamina, physical strength, and patience on my part. And each year, I told myself to just let Cindy go off to these stores on her own and not participate in this endurance sport. After all, I almost always had my shopping done by the middle of December. But, she'd don on her Santa hat and somehow I'd find myself in the car with her with a hundred circulars on my lap that were dog earred, tabbed, or in some way marked with the sale items she wanted to get.
Every year that I knew Cindy, I tried to convince her to get her Christmas shopping done early:
JM: You know Cindy, there's this amazing thing called the Internet and you can actually buy all your gifts online as opposed to hauling ass around town 48 hours before Christmas.
CMR: Yeah, but I like to see what I am buying.
JM: There are pictures online too.
CMR: But, I have these last minute coupons I can use.
JM: Doesn't it wear you down to have to traipse all over Virginia until midnight.
CMR: It's Christmas. That's what you do.
Sometimes, the shopping would continue even into Christmas morning. I don't know how, but Cindy was able to find the one store in all of Virginia that was open from 8am to 11am Christmas day.
I, of course, followed her wherever she'd go. After all, someone needed to carry her coat and her packages. She never asked me to do this, but I felt it was my duty as I had much longer and stronger arms than her. The only times I would get frustrated would be when she would ask for my opinion on a potential purchase:
CMR: Which sweatshirt do you like better?
JM: Cindy, they are both red hooded sweatshirts.
CMR: I know. But which one do you think my Dad will like?
JM: Aren't they the same?
CMR: No, this one is thicker.
JM: Okay, then get that one.
CMR: You're just saying that.
After the final store closed on Christmas day, we would drive down to Virginia Beach to be with her family. We never missed a Christmas with them in all the years that I knew Cindy.
Today, I am spending Christmas with my family in Woodbridge. I feel relaxed and calm, but not a minute goes by that I don't think of Cindy. I actually had Cindy's Christmas presents purchased for her back in July and had them hidden in my closet (I bought her a Nintendo Wii, a strap to attach a tiny video camera to her scooter helmet, and an underwater case for our camera for when we went snorkeling again). I came across some of these items this week when I was at the house and I wanted to throw them against a wall, but I decided to just let them be for a while longer.
I keep telling myself that I am almost through this holiday. I am so close. I think I am going to be able to do it. I am almost there. But, I also know that December 26th cannot come soon enough.
5 comments:
The instant email works...yay! Glad to hear you are relaxed with your family. PLEASE do not throw those awesome gifts against a wall. They will come in handy when you're ready for them & you can smile then and fondly think of Cindy. They are all things you can and should enjoy using or if you really can't stand them, give them to someone who would.
Christmas is the toughest. You're almost through it. Cindy always gave the perfect gift. Who knew such angst was behind it!
I had a feeling you weren't just thinking about her "every now and again" today of all days...I loved that story about Cindy and am not surprised at all to hear that's how she shopped...last minute, yet completely heartfelt. Love and snow from Seattle...
P.S. Is "Elf" good?
Christmas was a bit of a slog-through here too. I'm so glad you were with your loving family this year. Hang onto those gifts a while until you can really decide what you want to do with them.
Well, you made it through it! I can hear you from the conference room now. So, back to work as usual. I hope though that you had a good day with your family.
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