The Kindness of Neighbors

Throughout this experience, there have been a few constants. One of those constants is the kindness of my former neighbors, the Beckers. Chris Becker (shown above) is one of my scootering buddies. We took this photo last year at the Scootergate rally in D.C.

Cindy always had such a soft spot for Chris. She loved that here was a guy who was constantly working on his scooter, laying stone in his front yard, repairing a deck, and yet still was "man" enough to wear blue nail polish on his toes. Whenever she spotted the light on in his garage, she would shout, "He's up! I'm going to say hi." Then, right as she was about to open the door, she would stop herself. She did not want Chris thinking that she was stalking him from our front-door window. I failed to convince her that Chris would not think she was a stalker, so for a long time she admired him from afar.

Her attitude changed after Chris and his wife, Leslie, gave birth to their son Henry. Now that there was an adorable baby boy in the mix, Cindy could no longer hold back her affections for the Beckers (because we all know how Cindy could not resist babies). If she spotted the Beckers outside, she would say hello to Chris and Leslie and play with little Henry.

I often wonder if I will ever see anything as naturally beautiful as Cindy holding a baby or playing with a kid. I know that must sound really corny, but the connection she instantly made with newborns, toddlers, and children was unlike anything I had ever known before.

Since Cindy's death, the Beckers have been very helpful to me. During a sad moment outside the old house in February, Leslie immediately came over to see if I was okay. She probably did not know this, but her sympathetic face was exactly what I needed at that moment. Sometimes I struggle with a sense of marginalization, so having her witness and acknowledge my grief rescued me from that erasure. Just this month, Chris gave up his morning to help me fix my scooter. Watching him tinker with my Vespa reminded me of Cindy and how happy she would have been to be standing in my boots at that moment. I have no doubt that if Cindy were here today, she would have managed to insert herself more into the Becker's life and have become Chris's best bud.

Experiences like this continue to remind me about the enormity of my support network. I think I was even telling this to my mother on the phone this weekend, despite losing a great friend and love, I have yet to feel utter loneliness. My friends, family, co-workers, and even my neighbors ensure that constant.