Whatever I learned about successfully working my way through a buffet I owe to Cindy. And believe me, it is work.1. Do not go to a buffet hungry. If you go to a buffet starving, then you'll inevitably pile up your plate too quickly and run out of steam before you know it. If you go to a lunch buffet, make sure you've had a light breakfast several hours before. If you go to a brunch buffet, make sure to eat some crackers on the way there.
2. Survey the landscape of the buffet before you begin. Figure out where the crab legs are. How far is the carving station from your table? What's to look forward to at the dessert section? Are there shrimps at the salad bar? Cindy said this way you could strategically craft your game plan before blindly piling things onto your plate.
3. Start with the more expensive items. Cindy trained me to focus on the high-ticket fare such as crab legs, shrimp, lox, and prime rib. What I always found odd about Cindy was that despite telling me this she still piled low-cost items onto her plate (e.g., tortilla chips, bread, bacon).
4. Do not drink soda during your buffet experience. I didn't realize this, but soda fills you up faster. Cindy suggested that you start with water so that you can wash down your buckets of food easier.
5. Do not take more than you can eat. If there are spare ribs at the buffet, only place one or two onto your plate. Try a spoonful of the bananas foster before dishing out a huge bowl. Smaller portions of each dish will give your stomach the flexibility it needs to sample more food.
Note on #5: This rule does not apply to bacon. According to Cindy, bacon could be pilled onto your plate in handfuls. Actually, Cindy always gave bacon its own plate. Disgraced, former vegetarians Nikki and Tanya may remember this spectacle.
6. Take breaks between plates. Sometimes I would catch Cindy just chilling at the table while the rest of us had gone back to the buffet line two or three times already. When I asked her about this, she said "I'm pacing myself. I figure with these prices I am paying by the minute here to enjoy this food."
7. When in doubt, use the toilet. Cindy always said there was no shame in using the restroom to "clean out" before proceeding. She was not talking about throwing up mind you. Throwing up one's food on purpose went against everything Cindy believed in. That's because in her mind you're basically tossing out money.
8. Whenever possible, try to get to the buffet at the tail end of a brunch or lunch. Her thinking was that if you stalled long enough at the buffet, you'd be there for a food changeover. This happened to us once at the Mandalay Bay where we paid for the Sunday brunch, but squatted there long enough to flow into their dinner selections. You will never know what feats of strength and stamina we called upon to make that happen.
9. Always bring a purse or bag to the buffet. Why? To stash post-buffet cookies, bread, apples, and bagels in of course.
10. Never write down all the items you eat in a buffet. Cindy warned that if you do this, you will surely want to vomit it up later. And, as I mentioned in lesson #7, tossing your cookies does NOT make for a good return on buffet investment.
7. When in doubt, use the toilet. Cindy always said there was no shame in using the restroom to "clean out" before proceeding. She was not talking about throwing up mind you. Throwing up one's food on purpose went against everything Cindy believed in. That's because in her mind you're basically tossing out money.
8. Whenever possible, try to get to the buffet at the tail end of a brunch or lunch. Her thinking was that if you stalled long enough at the buffet, you'd be there for a food changeover. This happened to us once at the Mandalay Bay where we paid for the Sunday brunch, but squatted there long enough to flow into their dinner selections. You will never know what feats of strength and stamina we called upon to make that happen.
9. Always bring a purse or bag to the buffet. Why? To stash post-buffet cookies, bread, apples, and bagels in of course.
10. Never write down all the items you eat in a buffet. Cindy warned that if you do this, you will surely want to vomit it up later. And, as I mentioned in lesson #7, tossing your cookies does NOT make for a good return on buffet investment.
3 comments:
OMG! Jen I really hope you continue to amuse us with these great Cindy stories. She really makes me laugh. I hope you're doing okay.
I never get tired of Cindy's wisdom through your prose, no matter what the topic. Bon Appetit and be well in your travels this week.
I totally agree with Heather!!! I loved this one. I wish so badly that I could have experience a buffet with Cindy. I felt the same way I went to my one and only, Vegas buffet... I am paying 35$ are you crazy. But, if I was with Cindy and knew her thinking I would have been like hell ya $35 for 2 meals to fill me up all day! MISS YOU!
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