So, I contacted one of the support group coordinators directly on the phone today and had to laugh after the call. I actually don't think bereavement support is rocket science, but you'd be surprised. Here's a sample of the exchange:
Grieving Widow: Hi, my name is Jennifer and I was referred to you by so and so.
Support Expert: How can I help you?
GW: Well, I need some support. . .
SE: Uh-huh.
GW: . . . in a group setting.
SE: Can you tell me a little bit about your stor--uhhh . . .your situation?
GW: Well, my partner died from a brain aneurysm a little over 2 weeks ago and I am only 34 and I don't feel equipped to deal with this.
SE: That's rough.
GW: No sh*t.
SE: How are you doing otherwise?
GW: Not too well obviously, I need some support.
SE: It's good you are reaching out to us then.
GW: Yeah well, it was really hard for me to summon the strength to do it.
SE: It's a good thing you did.
GW: When is your next group meeting?
SE: February 2009.
GW: Febru-- Did you say 2009?
SE: If you'd like, I can put you on the waiting list.
GW: There's a waiting list?
SE: Yes.
GW: Is there like really good food served during these meetings?
SE: You see, there's a cap on the number of participants and they are all 12-week sessions.
GW: But February 2009 is after Thanksgiving. It's after Christmas. It's after New Year's for pete's sake.
SE: I know.
GW: If I am actually able to make it through and survive those holidays, I could run your f*cking support groups by February 2009.
SE: If you'd like, I could call around and try to find you another group.
GW: Yeah, why don't you do that? I am really anxious to get in one.
SE: I'll give you a call next week then?
Needless to say, I probably won't be waiting by the phone for her call.
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11 comments:
At least you laughed...?
Dude! Sounds like they took the support right out of support group.
hi, im patricia a friend of biff's, i may have met you no more than once... so excuse my forwardness. but have you considered one on one bereavement counseling ... your therapist may be able to get you into a group ... i wish these things were as easy as AA, but when it comes to mental health it can be an insider's game, and your therapist could be your advocate ... either way, ill keep an eye our for support groups if i find one and send it your way
Don't give up looking for a group. I've been searching the internet and found http://www.coping-with-loss-and-grief.com, which might be worth a look. Keep searching the internet and phone directory.
phyl just went to one last week(immediately, and did not have to pass GO). it seems to have gone well as they had dinner together afterward. cheap chinese but, better than chips, dip, and stale cookies. she's not allowed to talk about it or she may not go back. we'll talk more today.
That is such crap. But, I do think you should keep searching. Maybe if you try contacting the local Lesbian and Gay center, I think it is BLG center, you know what I mean. Maybe they know something for Lesbian and Gay widows. That web site may be a good place too. I can't believe that there won't be something that you can just go too. Keep trying though. I think it would be really good for you.
there's a guy n phyl's group who lost his partner of 17yrs last week. joined the group the day aftr. their group is not glbt.
meant to say..their group is NOW glbt.
Seriously? 2009? I'd keep looking if I were you. I'm sure there are more groups out there. I'm so proud of you for asking about the food. :)
I once called public mental health services when I was living in FL. When they put me on hold, instead of music, they had a message, "We're sorry we had to put you on hold. We know that it isn't where you want to be right now, but one of our staff will be with you to help as soon as possible." I was laughing so hard I thought they'd think I was really nuts when they got back on the line. All I could think of was the Simpsons episode where Madge calls Homer in the insane asylum and the hold music is "Crazy" by Patsy Cline.
that's ridiculous! there have to be groups out there run by non-clueless people.
Jen, I'm so sorry about this. Unfortunately, the research I did wasn't much better. I only came up with the following, which starts in January. Unbelievable that there aren't better resources for our community. I'll keep digging.
http://www.mautnerproject.org/programs_and_services/Support_Groups/bereavement_support.html
Best -- Jill
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