In a few hours I go back to work. I have not been in my office since September 30th. Everything I did that day in September just swirls in my head and, even now as I write this, my head shakes in disbelief and regret.
That morning I left home early because I had a site launch that afternoon. It was my second launch that month and I was extremely proud to have completed both high-profile projects on time and on budget. I worked through lunch and hinted to my boss to throw me a party that Friday. I remember I even left work on time that night because I went to a former employer's retirement party that evening. I did not get home until 9:30pm and had minimal conversation with Cindy before going to bed.
Popular movies trick you into thinking you'll say something so profound before someone you love dies. You might think you'll hold them in your arms, tell them that you will love them forever, and even ask that they wait for you on the other side. What I did not know was that this is a luxury. In the world we live in, people talk about their sore backs, why the kitchen sink always gets clogged, and why they'll never eat Thai food two hours before bed. The last thing Cindy asked me for before the aneurysm ruptured was the batteries for her blood pressure monitor. I got out of bed, went to the kitchen, found her batteries, and then tossed them to her. Some people are given the "Beaches" script and the rest of us are given the Cassavetes scripts.
I would have been happy to at least have gotten the Jean-Pierre Jeunet screenplay.
That morning I left home early because I had a site launch that afternoon. It was my second launch that month and I was extremely proud to have completed both high-profile projects on time and on budget. I worked through lunch and hinted to my boss to throw me a party that Friday. I remember I even left work on time that night because I went to a former employer's retirement party that evening. I did not get home until 9:30pm and had minimal conversation with Cindy before going to bed.
Popular movies trick you into thinking you'll say something so profound before someone you love dies. You might think you'll hold them in your arms, tell them that you will love them forever, and even ask that they wait for you on the other side. What I did not know was that this is a luxury. In the world we live in, people talk about their sore backs, why the kitchen sink always gets clogged, and why they'll never eat Thai food two hours before bed. The last thing Cindy asked me for before the aneurysm ruptured was the batteries for her blood pressure monitor. I got out of bed, went to the kitchen, found her batteries, and then tossed them to her. Some people are given the "Beaches" script and the rest of us are given the Cassavetes scripts.
I would have been happy to at least have gotten the Jean-Pierre Jeunet screenplay.
3 comments:
There is nothing you could have said that she didn't already know.
how was your day at work?
Iceberg queen is right. Cindy knew how much you loved her!
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